You know you have been staring at Greek too long when…..

“Greek Verb Paradigm”
(Words by N. Clayton Croy. Tune = “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of Greek,
I take a look at my life and see it’s rather bleak.
’Cause I’ve been learnin’ and crammin’ so long;
So when I do my parsin’ I won’t do it wrong.
The Greek verb system, it’s got so many forms.
They’re buzzing in my brain, like bees in swarms.
But I’ve been studyin’ every day and every night.
I gotta get the endings down and get them down right.
My social life is sufferin’, as any fool can see.
My nose is in a book. It’s just reality.
I gotta pass the midterm, and there ain’t no other way
Than studyin’ from the break of dawn until the end of day.
I’ve been spending all my time
Trying to learn the Greek verb paradigm. (Repeat 4×)
My homies come around saying, “Hey, where you been?”
“We come by your place, but you’re never in.”
I have to say to them, “I been in my study carrel.”
“If I don’t learn this paradigm, my life’s in peril.”
So late in the evening, I’m in the library
Beneath a pile of books under which I’ve been buried.
My friendships are dying. Don’t have no time to play.
I spend every waking moment with the Koine.
The way things are goin’ my life is ill-starred.
My best companions are my vocab cards.
But I got one friend with whom I can tarry.
The Greek tutor and I, we’re gonna marry.
Tell me why of late — is it my fate
To do nothing more — than conjugate?
I’ve been spending all my time
Trying to learn the Greek verb paradigm. (Repeat 4×)

Present and the aorist, perfect and the future.
My brain’s gonna bust. I’m gonna need a suture.
Four different moods and six different tenses.
I study so hard I’m takin’ leave of my senses!
Active, middle, passive; singular and plural —
It all spins around in a great big swirl.
I gotta learn Greek to understand the Bible;
But if I don’t succeed, a breakdown is liable.
I’ve been spending all my time
Trying to learn the Greek verb paradigm. (Repeat 4×)
Tell me why of late — is it my fate
To do nothing more — than conjugate? (Repeat 2×)

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